Welcome to the strangely wonderful world of 'Stop Fighting, It's Only Dinner'; a collection of chat logs from a group of confused, androgenous, and horrifyingly explicit friends.

Sunday, 28 September 2008

Sebastian's Trial Pt. 2

Fred has been added to the conversation.
The Honourable Judge Morris says: Mr. Radishbottom the charges against you have already been stated
The Honourable Judge Morris says: if we’re moving too fast perhaps you’d do better to listen
The Honourable Judge Morris says: the charges brought before Mr. Radishbottom and this court are Several counts of Mischief and regular skulduggery
The Honourable Judge Morris says: now if you don’t mind i believe the prosecution has the floor
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "thank you your honour"
Fred says: *glowers at Sebastian*
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "Sgt. Winston"
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "on the night of July the 14 you were on duty, were you not?"
Fred says: "Yeah... I mean, yes your honour."
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "thank you "
Sebastian says: iOBJENCTIONAS!
The Honourable Judge Morris says: OVER RULED
Sebastian says: AY AY AY AYYYY!!!!
The Honourable Judge Morris says: Mr. Radishbottom
The Honourable Judge Morris says: please keep quiet
The Honourable Judge Morris says: and keep the interjections English please
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "on the night in question did you encounter any Miscreants?"
Fred says: "A couple of hopper touting crank, and a Persian pimp."
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "a Persian pimp you say "
Sebastian says: OBJECTION Sebastian says: a pimp is slander sir!
The Honourable Judge Morris says: might i ask if any of the aforementioned miscreants are in this court room today?
Sebastian says: "MISSTRIAL"
The Honourable Judge Morris says: OVER RULED
The Honourable Judge Morris says: KEEP QUIET MR. RADISHBOTTOM
The Honourable Judge Morris says: or i will hold you in contempt of court
Fred says: Pimp is what you are, bitch
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "would you care to answer Mr.Winston?"
Fred says: *spits on Sebastian*
Fred says: *Points at whom he spat*
Sebastian says: thank you sir
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "thankyou "
The Honourable Judge Morris says: ORDER
(The Honourable Judge Morris says: ORDER IN THE COURT
The Honourable Judge Morris says: thankyou gentle men
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "thankyou your honour"
Sebastian says: gentlemen
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "now Mr. Winston what was the accused up to on the night in question?"
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "Sgt.?"
(22:17) Robert: "He was skullduggering.... and molesting children. Your honour."
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "thankyou "
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "defences whitness"
The Honourable Judge Morris says: thankyou Mr. Winston
Sebastian says: I whitnessed the whole thing
The Honourable Judge Morris says: the defence may now question the whitness
Sebastian says: yes i did indeed molest those children
Sebastian says: but there was absolutely no skullduggery involved, sir
The Honourable Judge Morris says: this is not an appeal Mr. Radishbottom
The Honourable Judge Morris says: QUESTION THE WHITNESS
Fred says: "On the night of Monday the 8th of September in the year 2008, Mr Radishbottom, where you or where you not conducting business at the mini taxi offices on Logan st.?"
Sebastian says: I was indeed.
Fred says: "And tell me, Mr Radishbottom, what does that business entail?"
Sebastian says: it entails a series of mini-taxis performing acts of a sexual nature upon clients whom i call "tricks"
Sebastian says: nothing illegal, sir.
Fred says: *takes out various tapes from a wire tap operation performed*
The Honourable Judge Morris says: ...
Fred says: *plays*
The Honourable Judge Morris says: foul
Fred says: "Logans Mini taxis, how can I help you....?" - "I want some pussy." - "Get in."
Fred says: *stops tape*
Sebastian says: HAAA!!!!
Sebastian says: HAHAHAHA
Sebastian says: i love it when my bitches work.
Fred says: "What do you say to this Mr Radishbottom?"
Sebastian says: *lights up a spliff*
Sebastian says: yeah that's them
Sebastian says: what of it?
The Honourable Judge Morris says: THATS IT MR. RADISHBOTTOM
Fred says: *shoots spliff out of your mouth*
Fred says: "Not in my court of justice."
The Honourable Judge Morris says: im holding you in contempt of court
The Honourable Judge Morris says: Mr. Winston
The Honourable Judge Morris says: you may remain in court if you wish as a guest
Sebastian says: *wheezes out of a bong* yeah i'm in contempt
Sebastian says: what of it?
The Honourable Judge Morris says: but your testemony is no longer needed
The Honourable Judge Morris says: that means Mr. Radishbottom that youll be paying a £500 and spending toninght in jail
Sebastian says: *heroine injection* yeah, i'm going to jail, what of it?
Sebastian says: yeah okay
Sebastian says: sounds fair
Fred says: *Pins you against a wall*
Fred says: Why don't we just end it here Radishbottom.
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "bailiff restrain the accused"
The Honourable Judge Morris says: *Mr. Radishbottom is pinned by the baliff and Winston*
Sebastian says: SHIIIIT
Sebastian says: AAARHGGHHA
The Honourable Judge Morris says: Mr. Winston restrain yourself
The Honourable Judge Morris says: we have 3 more whitnesses
The Honourable Judge Morris says: this is nowhere near over
The Honourable Judge Morris says: now SIT DOWN
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "baliff shoots tranquelizer"
Sebastian says: but the sentence has been given!
The Honourable Judge Morris says: *Fred slumps on the floor*
The Honourable Judge Morris says: NO
The Honourable Judge Morris says: you have been held in contempt
The Honourable Judge Morris says: that is a proliminary sentencing for your misbehgaviour in court
The Honourable Judge Morris says: this case is not over
The Honourable Judge Morris says: next whitness!!!!!
Sebastian says: I CALL TO THE STAND
Sebastian says: THE MARCH HARE
The Honourable Judge Morris says: im sorry Mr. Radishbottom
The Honourable Judge Morris says: its not your turn
The Honourable Judge Morris says: sit down
The Honourable Judge Morris says: or your one night will be made a week
The Honourable Judge Morris says: the next whitness please
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "i'd like to call to the stand"
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "Ms. Gordonna Bennett"
Gordonna has been added to the conversation.
Sebastian says: IMPOSSIBLE
Fred says: *grunts*
Gordonna says: *cough*
The Honourable Judge Morris says: Ms. Bennet
Gordonna says: *smile*
Sebastian says: HOE WHAT ARE YOU DOIN' HERE
Gordonna says: Yes your honour?
Sebastian says: YOU GET BACK TO THE GHETTO BEFORE I BEAT YO ASS
Gordonna says: *stiff upper lip*
The Honourable Judge Morris says: do you swear to tell the truth the whole truth and nothing but the truth
Gordonna says: So help me god, your honour.
The Honourable Judge Morris says: ORDER
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "youll be tranquelized next Mr. Radishbottom, calm down!!!!!"
The Honourable Judge Morris says: thankyou
Gordonna says: *wipes eye with a tissue*
Fred says: *grunts again*
The Honourable Judge Morris says: order
The Honourable Judge Morris says: be quiet
Fred says: *coughs*
The Honourable Judge Morris says: whitness for the prosicution
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "thank you your honour"
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "Ms. Bennett you are a working girl are you not?"
Gordonna says: That I am, your honour.
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "and you are in the employ of Mr. Radishbottom are you not"
The Honourable Judge Morris says: ?
Fred says: *coughs, grunts, clears throat and smokes*
Gordonna says: I wouldn't say 'employ', exactly, your honour.
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "well you work for him right?"
The Honourable Judge Morris says: what would you say?
Gordonna says: Yes I do.
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "thankyou "
The Honourable Judge Morris says: "and on the night of july the fourteenth Mr. Radishbottom was arrested wasnt he?"
Gordonna says: Well, it's all a bit hazy, sir... Can't remember much these days.
The Honourable Judge Morris says: so you dont remember what the charges were?
Sebastian says: AAAAAAAAALLAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!!!!!!!!!
Sebastian says: *BOOM!*

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