Captain NippleCaps

Imogen: besides, I already made her into a crispy burnt AIDS infected guilty corpse.
Fred: Yeah... you're good at that...
Fred: Or taking blood
Fred: Or making people old and haggared
Imogen: Yah
Imogen: not so secret talent
Fred: It's such a destructive talent that I'm sure it doesn't need to be secret
Imogen: Nah, what if the government were to find out?
Imogen: Needless to say they'd use me for their own evil plans
Fred: You might get paid for your good work?
Imogen: The X Men have taught us that much.
Fred: The X-men sold out.
Imogen: Oooh, money!
Imogen: *becomes government slag*
Fred: Do you have an overly revealing tight colourful costume?
Imogen: Overly revealing is an understatement (my superhero name is Captain Nipple Caps)
Fred: That name makes me happy somehow
Imogen: I know, it just sounds fun, doesn't it?
Fred: It does, I picture you firing aids infected milk all over little kids
Imogen: Fun to say, although now my family think I'm crazy: "CaptainnipplecapsCaptainnipplecapsCaptainnipplecaps."
Fred: We should rights reserve it and trademark it!
Imogen: I'm not sure I should fire milk from my nipples.
Fred: But it'd be fun
Imogen: that might involve removing my nipple caps
Imogen: then I'd just be Captain Naked
Fred: You could have firing holes?
Imogen: Hmm...
Imogen: Alright. And my nipple caps have bullseyes on them to indicate my skill on the firing range.
Fred: Also!
Fred: The rest of your costume should be skin coloured so people are like "Is she naked? "
Fred: Like the psychik one in Xmen or Nausica
Imogen: What do you mean, "the rest of my costume"?!
Fred: Erm, I assume there's more...? Right? More than the nipple caps?
Imogen: ...
Fred: No even something for the... you know... junk?
Imogen: ...
Imogen: Wait.
Imogen: Hang on, junk?!
Imogen: I am a LADY
Fred: Your lady junk?
Imogen: Everyone knows the following entirely true and in no way made up by me facts about LADIES:
Imogen: 1: Ladies have no genitals (i.e. JUNK)
Imogen: 2: Ladies do not: i)urinate
Imogen: ii) excrete
Imogen: iii) produce gas, either from their behinds nor mouths
Fred: What about their breasts?
Imogen: 3: Ladies know everything you are thinking, and think you are very dirty.
Imogen: Breasts?
Imogen: Well we have those.
Imogen: But merely as shelves on which we keep various ladylike apparatus
Imogen: such as combs... and..uh...
Fred: Tampons?
Imogen: Eurgh
Imogen: Ladies don't have periods.
Fred: What about women?
Imogen: They do.
Imogen: THEY ARE IMMENSELY PAINFUL AND LAST FOREVER
Imogen: But Ladies don't
Fred: Imogen, I love you ^^
Imogen: I love bicycles.
Imogen: Not the usual kind.
Imogen: The ones with a low seat and high handlebars and a basket on the front.
Fred: Not your lord Jesus? (me)
Imogen: I love you too, but only because you remind me slightly of a bicycle.
Fred: *sigh*
Fred: I don't have wheels, Imogen, or spokes!
Imogen: Bicycles are great though.
Imogen: You have hands
Imogen: Hands and handlebars aren't too far from each other...
Fred: But, theoretically speaking, I'd need to use them to hold onto wheels!
Imogen: You need to think more metaphorically?
Fred: You know I struggle metaphorically
Imogen: Then you have not lived!