The Porn Revolution of 2008

Tea: Ahh, Trebor make nice sweets, I think I'll let them off when the revolution comes...
Fred: The revolution that will sweep aside the credit crunch with something much more meaningful?
Fred: Because I'd like to see you keep middle aged bankers interested in something other than fluxuating numbers and Thai brides
Fred: Unless you propose a revolution in porn?
Fred: Guilt free would be the essential necessary change
Tea: What would a revoloution in porn entail? O_o
Fred: I'm not sure, but I seem to recall the last revolution you proposed was a Romantic one and I just don't see it working
Fred: Perhaps making porn downloadable without the threat of viruses
Fred: (What the hell am I on about?)
Tea: I've pretty much conceded all hope of a revolution now, in all honesty... people are too rubbish (a small colony of not rubbish people would be nice though...even a flat??). So...what will be the outcome of this wonderous, virus-free world of porn?
Fred: And guilt free*
Tea: Of course ^^
Fred: I can only imagine that the outcome would be a world of wankers, but we're at that stage now so.... well.... a world of perpetual wankers?
Tea: Sounds...beautiful and frightening...? Not very productive, but wonderful nonetheless. I want to make a pun somewhere but my wit's failing ):
Fred: I think most wit fades in the face of perpetual masturbation
Fred: A kleenex moment perhaps?
Fred: Oh, haha, there we go
Tea: I bow to you sir!
Fred: And while the world masturbates you'll have a flat of not rubbish people masturbating their minds, yes?
Tea: Yep, guilt-free mental masturbation! Although we'd probably just spend the time complaining about the affect on the climate of all the tissue used >.<
Fred: Paper can be recycled.... the dripping, life potent paper...

Raping Hot Hunnies

Eric Monday says: so yeah how do you talk to some random chick who's name you don't even know and you've never even spoken to?
Eric Monday says: coz let me tell you
Eric Monday says: this person in question is raping hot
Beatrix says: Well you go up to her and say,
Beatrix says: "Hi, my name's Eric."
Beatrix says: Shake her hand.
Beatrix says: Old fashioned like.
Eric Monday says: that would seem so weird
Eric Monday says: though if I did it as if it was intended weird
Eric Monday says: like
Eric Monday says: as if I had a monocle
Eric Monday says: yeah
Eric Monday says: good idea
Eric Monday says: i'll do that tommorow
Eric Monday says: we'll see who wants to bang who
Beatrix says: Awesome. I'm just trying to think of what Sebastian does.
Eric Monday says: Sebastian's naturally charming
Eric Monday says: even I, not being gay, would tap that
Eric Monday says: if you don't mind my saying
Beatrix says: He's not.
Beatrix says: He didn't use to be.
Beatrix says: I don't mind at all.
Eric Monday says: i've known him for quite a while
Eric Monday says: I don't remember him not being charming
Beatrix says: He says before year nine he wasn't.
Eric Monday says: though sometimes I can't tell if he's being serious or not
Eric Monday says: but apart from that
Eric Monday says: yeah
Eric Monday says: hot
Eric Monday says: nice one
Eric Monday says: not that i've an opinion, not being gay
Eric Monday says: *cough*
Beatrix says: No, well...
Beatrix says: Even straight men fancy Sebastian.
Beatrix says: Well known fact.
Eric Monday says: mm
Eric Monday says: so you say he's not naturally charming, and then you say that even straight guys fancy him
Eric Monday says: surely straight guys wouldn't fancy him if he wasn't naturally charming
Eric Monday says: damn it this pillage is taking forever to go!

Captain NippleCaps

Imogen: besides, I already made her into a crispy burnt AIDS infected guilty corpse.
Fred: Yeah... you're good at that...
Fred: Or taking blood
Fred: Or making people old and haggared
Imogen: Yah
Imogen: not so secret talent
Fred: It's such a destructive talent that I'm sure it doesn't need to be secret
Imogen: Nah, what if the government were to find out?
Imogen: Needless to say they'd use me for their own evil plans
Fred: You might get paid for your good work?
Imogen: The X Men have taught us that much.
Fred: The X-men sold out.
Imogen: Oooh, money!
Imogen: *becomes government slag*
Fred: Do you have an overly revealing tight colourful costume?
Imogen: Overly revealing is an understatement (my superhero name is Captain Nipple Caps)
Fred: That name makes me happy somehow
Imogen: I know, it just sounds fun, doesn't it?
Fred: It does, I picture you firing aids infected milk all over little kids
Imogen: Fun to say, although now my family think I'm crazy: "CaptainnipplecapsCaptainnipplecapsCaptainnipplecaps."
Fred: We should rights reserve it and trademark it!
Imogen: I'm not sure I should fire milk from my nipples.
Fred: But it'd be fun
Imogen: that might involve removing my nipple caps
Imogen: then I'd just be Captain Naked
Fred: You could have firing holes?
Imogen: Hmm...
Imogen: Alright. And my nipple caps have bullseyes on them to indicate my skill on the firing range.
Fred: Also!
Fred: The rest of your costume should be skin coloured so people are like "Is she naked? "
Fred: Like the psychik one in Xmen or Nausica
Imogen: What do you mean, "the rest of my costume"?!
Fred: Erm, I assume there's more...? Right? More than the nipple caps?
Imogen: ...
Fred: No even something for the... you know... junk?
Imogen: ...
Imogen: Wait.
Imogen: Hang on, junk?!
Imogen: I am a LADY
Fred: Your lady junk?
Imogen: Everyone knows the following entirely true and in no way made up by me facts about LADIES:
Imogen: 1: Ladies have no genitals (i.e. JUNK)
Imogen: 2: Ladies do not: i)urinate
Imogen: ii) excrete
Imogen: iii) produce gas, either from their behinds nor mouths
Fred: What about their breasts?
Imogen: 3: Ladies know everything you are thinking, and think you are very dirty.
Imogen: Breasts?
Imogen: Well we have those.
Imogen: But merely as shelves on which we keep various ladylike apparatus
Imogen: such as combs... and..uh...
Fred: Tampons?
Imogen: Eurgh
Imogen: Ladies don't have periods.
Fred: What about women?
Imogen: They do.
Imogen: THEY ARE IMMENSELY PAINFUL AND LAST FOREVER
Imogen: But Ladies don't
Fred: Imogen, I love you ^^
Imogen: I love bicycles.
Imogen: Not the usual kind.
Imogen: The ones with a low seat and high handlebars and a basket on the front.
Fred: Not your lord Jesus? (me)
Imogen: I love you too, but only because you remind me slightly of a bicycle.
Fred: *sigh*
Fred: I don't have wheels, Imogen, or spokes!
Imogen: Bicycles are great though.
Imogen: You have hands
Imogen: Hands and handlebars aren't too far from each other...
Fred: But, theoretically speaking, I'd need to use them to hold onto wheels!
Imogen: You need to think more metaphorically?
Fred: You know I struggle metaphorically
Imogen: Then you have not lived!